Never Enough
I still have several days in which I am ready to give up, days in which I am ready to say goodbye; however, I put on brave face and I try to be okay.. But it never seems to be … Continue reading Never Enough
New Years
Most people welcome the new year with great excitement and see it as chance to start over, reinvent themselves, or make some kind of great change to their lives. For me, however, the new year represents the unknown, unforeseen misfortunes, … Continue reading New Years
Why I Hate Dating Part I
I overthink EVERYTHING. “What am I going to wear?” “What if we have nothing to talk about?” “Should I take a sedative beforehand, or have a drink? Or wait and see how I feel?” “Does he actually like me, or … Continue reading Why I Hate Dating Part I
Strong • Beautiful • Fearless
I have never really been good at loving myself. I have always put the needs of others before my own. I have been weak, cowardly, and lifeless, and at times I have hated myself. About three years ago, when I … Continue reading Strong • Beautiful • Fearless
“Friends can break your heart too.”
You were like no one I had ever met before: exciting, intelligent, cool and quirky all at the same time. I admired your passion for art history and your bizarre fervor for motivational speeches. I never spent a dull moment … Continue reading “Friends can break your heart too.”
Chapter 5
It took everything I had in me to keep my eyes fixed on the winding road ahead of me, as I drove home from school. The spring interim reports had just been released online, and I was getting a D … Continue reading Chapter 5
Hanging On
I do not know if I can hang on for much longer. It is 1:27PM on a beautiful summer afternoon. Everyone is out living life, while I am still here laying in bed. My heart is racing a hundred miles … Continue reading Hanging On
Chapter 4
It was a sunny and warm spring afternoon. It was also my first day of art therapy. My mom did not have much luck with finding a local psychologist who was accepting new patients, so I had settled for art therapy. I pulled up to the therapist’s house atop a gently rolling hill in the next town over from mine. My mom and I walked slowly up the cobblestone pathway leading us to her front door. I nervously rang the door bell. I was instantly greeted by two big black barking dogs. “I hope you’re not afraid of dogs,” the … Continue reading Chapter 4
What it is like…
Depression makes you feel like you are constantly drowning in a deep dark ocean of emotions, gasping for air, and fighting fiercely to get back to the surface. And then you become extremely exhausted and you would like nothing more … Continue reading What it is like…
Chapter 3
I woke up one spring morning my junior year of high school. The sun was shining through my window panes and I was buried deep under my covers. I could not get up. I had already missed the first period of the school day when my mom finally ripped the covers off of me, and asked in a stern tone, “What are you still doing here? Are you not going to school?” I whispered, “ I cannot go,” as I quickly drew the sheets back over my face. “Why? What’s wrong?” she inquired. I responded unconvincingly, “I have a headache, … Continue reading Chapter 3
An Open Letter of Apology
To the people that I love: I apologize for pushing you away. You see, the disastrous part of myself has been unleashed, and I am afraid it is not a pretty sight. You should not have to watch me struggle, … Continue reading An Open Letter of Apology
Chapter 2
It was a Saturday morning. I was sitting in the back seat of my dad’s car. As we drove up the winding hill to our house, I blurted out, “The doctor thinks I may be depressed.” He chuckled and replied, “That’s impossible! You’re not depressed. You’re the happiest person I know.” I knew I was depressed and I was crushed by his response. In that moment, I could feel my eyes watering and tension building up inside me. I was extremely fortunate to have been sitting in the back seat, and to not have to make eye contact with him. … Continue reading Chapter 2
A Beautiful Twisted Nightmare: Living with Anxiety and Depression 