Hanging On

I do not know if I can hang on for much longer. It is 1:27PM on a beautiful summer afternoon. Everyone is out living life, while I am still here laying in bed. My heart is racing a hundred miles per minute, my body is shaking, my mind is being tortured by the ruminations, and my soul is broken. I just want it all to end already. I cannot fight it anymore. I am mentally and physically exhausted. I have not had much of an appetite lately, and the thought of food makes me feel a little queasy. I can barely stand up without feeling like I am about to faint. I cannot stare at my reflection in the mirror without focusing on all my imperfections; For I become blinded by the disappointment and failure staring back at me, despite acknowledging all of my accomplishments. I cannot help but loathe myself, no matter how desperately I try to believe that I am worthy enough of being loved. I do not know if I can hang on for much longer.  

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