I still have several days in which I am ready to give up, days in which I am ready to say goodbye; however, I put on brave face and I try to be okay.. But it never seems to be enough. Why can it not be enough for me to wake up every morning? Why is it not enough that I am still here?
I feel like I am constantly surrounded by extremely intelligent, successful, and driven people. Although most people do not say anything, I know what they are all thinking…”Her parents worked so hard to provide her with a quality education, and it was all for nothing. Or “She is capable of so much more. Why isn’t she doing more with her life?”
Is it not enough that I am still trying? I have never been one for slacking. If I could do more right now I would. In fact it kills me that I am not going to be graduating this spring and not going on to work a full time job in the fall. I had a plan. I wanted my own success. I still want my own success, but life is far from perfect and plans fall apart. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. It is the only way for me to remain hopeful. Having hope is not an easy feat for someone like me. So god help me please let it be enough.